Moron Report 2/23

Moron Report 2-23

Some Morons have to be told twice, some things have to be learned the first time there told, like for example, a designated driver, pretty simple concept right, Wrong,.

(Austin Texas) A man was charged with endangering a child, a state jail felony, after police said he allowed his 14-year-old niece to drive drunk Friday night, the man as well, was wasted.

Ok first off if you’re an uncle, don’t hang around Nieces, never works. Second, start with driving drunk up and down the driveway that’s a good exercise. Then teach her to ride a bike drunk for balance. Then drive drunk on some side streets for experience, Then only then, will they be ready for Designated Drunk uncle driving. I should write a book. “uncle Anthony’s under aged drinking and under aged drunk designated driving for dummies.

Tony Galloway

News Nasty's 2-23

News Nasty’s 2-23

Brooke Muller, wife to actor Charlie Sheen has switched rehab facilities over concerns about her privacy, according to published reports. She’s moving from the Canyon Rehab center in California, to smokeys Tavern and Rehab center in Texas.

A federal appeals court will re-examine the FCC fine it threw out against CBS over Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction" during the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show. They say the video should be reviewed every 2 months or so,alone in a private place.

Actor Paul Reubens aka Pee – Wee Herman was pulled over last Friday for going 50 mph in a 35 mph zone. It should have been a short here’s your ticket and I’m off situation, But the word of the day was speeding, and when the cop would ask if he was drinking he would only respond with I know you are but what am I.

Sluggerrr the Lion -- the mascot for the Kansas City Royals -- is accused of poking a fan's eye out with a Hot Dog during a Major League Baseball game last year ... and now the team is being sued over it. The man suing Sluggerr says he was just chill’in at a game last year when Slugger "climbed atop the third base dugout and started shooting hotdogs into the stands from an air gun."Then apparently that got boring because he dropped the gun, and starting chucking the meat snack food into the crowd hitting the man in the Eye. After hearing this The Royals sent Sluggerr the Lion with a head thats half Baseball Half lion back to the Hot Dog throwing minors.

Sarah Palin will be a guest on the Tonight with Jay Leno when the show reboots a week from now; Palin’s not new to the Tonight show she came on once while Conan Obrien was still host. She’ll be joined by celebrities she doesn’t know; talking about nothing, on a station she didn’t know existed till 2007. Promoting god knows what, for no good reason.

And in Irony news Job hunting website Monster.com is cutting 200 jobs.

Tony Galloway

Tiger Wood's Dooms Day Clock 2-22

Tiger Woods Dooms Day Clock 2-22

world has a clock that was made to make people aware when a nuclear holocaust is near, The Dooms Day clock, But I think Tiger Woods is more important, So I bring you The Tiger Woods Dooms day clock. This clock determines how close we are to Tigers return to golf, midnight meaning, he backkkkk. Right now we’re sitting at 11:59 dangerously close to the return of TIGER. Well last week he met with the press, spreading apologies pretty thin and looking extremely old. Because of his own uncertainty of when he’d like to return I have to think it’s not going to be anytime soon, So good news Ian Poulter’s, you may have another chance to step up on the winner’s podium because I’m pushing the clock back 10 minutes, Yes PGA boys you all have an equal opportunity, For now, It’s 11 minutes till midnight.

Tony Galloway

News Nasty's 2/22

News Nasty’s 2-22

The first monogamous amphibian has been discovered living in the rainforest of South America.
Genetic tests have revealed that male and females of one species of Peruvian poison frog remain utterly faithful.
So next time ladies you’re having relationship issues, don’t turn to Oprah or Dr Phil, Go out by the rocks and ask a frog.

Natural progesterone, the sex hormone used in the first contraceptive pills, is to be tested on patients with severe head injuries. This just in Tiger Woods has the healthiest brain in the word.

Speaking of Tiger, he came out of the forest last week to speak to the media for the first time since the car accident that reveled several infidelity situations. He expressed apology to all his fans and friends, as well as his sponsors. Nikey accepted his apology, saying they support Tiger 100 percent. They also introduced their new Tiger woods’ cologne, Sex Tiger, 60% of the time it works every time.

The USA men’s hockey team did the impossible again, defeating the massive favorite Canada 5 to 3. The USA celebrated by getting free health care, eating pancake flavored beer while scream suck it Canada.

Residents of Tracy California are now forced to pay 300 for every call they make to 911. Governor Arnold Swartanegger made a statement saying, where the hell is Tracy CA. He went on to say if that’s the case, we’ll send choppers, and they need to get to them. They also need to fill out a complaint, tell the state who their daddy is, and what does he do.

The wife of wrestler Ric Flair was arrested last night for allegedly assaulting the nature boy. Cop were called when Neighbors heard the sounds of hands hitting hot chest flesh, and loud cries of Wooooo coming from the flair house hold.

Tony Galloway