News Nasty’s 1/28
Actor and martial artist Jean Claude Van Damme gave up fighting in 1980, 30 years later he will step into the ring with Thai kick boxer Somluck Kamsing. Camera crews will follow his every move heading into this fight as well. He says you can expect a lot of Emotion, pain, black silk underwear, and a guaranteed win by flying round house kick.
Apple CEO Steve Jobs introduced a new product, the I-Pad. Which is a giant I-phone with no phone service? So they took a product, they already had, enlarged it and took away the main feature? The Demographic for this product was announced as well, People with big hands and no need for phone service, with 500 dollars to throw away.
Pro Wrestler Chris Jericho was arrested at a gas station in Kentucky yesterday (1-27), apparently extremely intoxicated, and riding in a cab. He was apprehended after choking out the cab driver, who he thought was the iron sheik.
Brooke Mueller wife of actor Charlie Sheen is in a Rehab center I’m told, recovering from pneumonia. When we asked the lawyer about it he said, “No not Pneumonia, Ammonia, she was out of whiskey.
The Answer is, John Edwards cheated on his wife who had cancer, had a baby with his Mistress, and got a divorce. The question, things you need on your resume to have a successful career in politics, we would have accepted also, DUI, and Gay bathroom affair.
Barack Obama had his first State of the Union speech since becoming president yesterday (1-27). Same ole sit and stand sit and stand service as usually, but the real focus is on Nancy Pelosi, for looking like every librarian ever, and Joe Biden looking like Sam the eagle from the Muppets.
Tony Galloway
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
News Nasty's 1/27
News Nasty’s 1/27
It’s now 6 minutes till midnight, according to the doomsday clock, the clock that determines when the world will be destroyed by nuclear war has been pushed back a minute. The Bulletin of Atomic Scientist say is was pushed back because of a more “hopeful state of world affairs” also Jay Leno going back to 11:35.
Apple has announced a new product, apparently its resembles a giant I-phone, in tablet form, That you may be able to read news papers and books digitally on, people are saying “it may not be the second coming but this is the most excitement a tablet has generated since Moses handed down the Ten Commandments, in celebration Steve Jobs CEO of apple has parted the red sea for the showing, And set George BUSH on fire.
TV star Adrian Pasdar from the hit NBC TV show hero’s was busted for a DUI, he was driving crazy at 90 miles an hour on a Los Angeles highway. The cops sensed his super powers from 20 feet away, Super Jack Daniels breathe, After NBC heard this they moved Jay Leno to when Hero’s is on and changed the title from Hero’s to People that look like the McDonalds character moon Mack, staring Jay Leno and Chuck Woolery.
General Larry Platt, the man who warmed Americas hearts with the song “Pants on the Ground” is under fire from The unknown Rap group The Green Brothers, for ripping off their song “Back Pockets on the Floor” Only God knows who will win in this Rap Battle of Originality. “In the Red Corner Act ‘in like a Fool “Pants on the Ground” and in the Blue Corner, 5 completely unknown Rappers from who cares “Back pockets on the Ground, There can only be one.
Well Susan Boyle’s home was broken into, Susan came home and saw a small boy leaving her residence. Nothing was taken. The British star said it could have been a small boy, or a Big English Leprecon. Her face got in the way.
Cuba Gooding JR showed up at an 80’s concert at the house of blues, apparently asking the crowd where all the white people were at. Little does he know, white people traded him for Wayne Brady a long time ago, and there still waiting for their money spent on RADIO.
Tony Galloway
It’s now 6 minutes till midnight, according to the doomsday clock, the clock that determines when the world will be destroyed by nuclear war has been pushed back a minute. The Bulletin of Atomic Scientist say is was pushed back because of a more “hopeful state of world affairs” also Jay Leno going back to 11:35.
Apple has announced a new product, apparently its resembles a giant I-phone, in tablet form, That you may be able to read news papers and books digitally on, people are saying “it may not be the second coming but this is the most excitement a tablet has generated since Moses handed down the Ten Commandments, in celebration Steve Jobs CEO of apple has parted the red sea for the showing, And set George BUSH on fire.
TV star Adrian Pasdar from the hit NBC TV show hero’s was busted for a DUI, he was driving crazy at 90 miles an hour on a Los Angeles highway. The cops sensed his super powers from 20 feet away, Super Jack Daniels breathe, After NBC heard this they moved Jay Leno to when Hero’s is on and changed the title from Hero’s to People that look like the McDonalds character moon Mack, staring Jay Leno and Chuck Woolery.
General Larry Platt, the man who warmed Americas hearts with the song “Pants on the Ground” is under fire from The unknown Rap group The Green Brothers, for ripping off their song “Back Pockets on the Floor” Only God knows who will win in this Rap Battle of Originality. “In the Red Corner Act ‘in like a Fool “Pants on the Ground” and in the Blue Corner, 5 completely unknown Rappers from who cares “Back pockets on the Ground, There can only be one.
Well Susan Boyle’s home was broken into, Susan came home and saw a small boy leaving her residence. Nothing was taken. The British star said it could have been a small boy, or a Big English Leprecon. Her face got in the way.
Cuba Gooding JR showed up at an 80’s concert at the house of blues, apparently asking the crowd where all the white people were at. Little does he know, white people traded him for Wayne Brady a long time ago, and there still waiting for their money spent on RADIO.
Tony Galloway
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
News Nasty's 1/26
News Nasty’s 1/26
Well, apparently internet sensation and reality TV star Tila tequila is pregnant, In a press conference the father, SATAN said he is so excited that his son Hitler will finally have a sibling to love.
Aerosmith front man Steven Tyler treated a California Home depot to an impromptu concert over the loud speakers over the weekend, Tyler was there getting everyday low prices, on Face Lifts.
Gilbert Arenas pleaded guilty to possession of a deadly weapon when he brought a handgun in the wizards locker room, supposedly as a cruel joke, Wizard officials said “it’s sad to lose a dedicated player like Arena, Shooting Guard on the court, shooting Guard off the court”
Mel Gibson returns to the big screen after a 7 year hiatus, in the thriller Edge of darkness, playing a character he’s been methodically preparing, for 7 years, that’s right, a crazy guy.
John Travolta is helping out in Haiti, using one of his planes to transfer supplies to victims, When asked how it feels to help so many in such a time of need, Travolta Says, “its electrifying” (I love Grease)
James Cameron’s “Avaitar” is still the number one movie in the country after 6 weeks, it is SAILING closer to SINKING Titanic’s money making Ship, Plenty of Pun intended.
Tony Galloway
Well, apparently internet sensation and reality TV star Tila tequila is pregnant, In a press conference the father, SATAN said he is so excited that his son Hitler will finally have a sibling to love.
Aerosmith front man Steven Tyler treated a California Home depot to an impromptu concert over the loud speakers over the weekend, Tyler was there getting everyday low prices, on Face Lifts.
Gilbert Arenas pleaded guilty to possession of a deadly weapon when he brought a handgun in the wizards locker room, supposedly as a cruel joke, Wizard officials said “it’s sad to lose a dedicated player like Arena, Shooting Guard on the court, shooting Guard off the court”
Mel Gibson returns to the big screen after a 7 year hiatus, in the thriller Edge of darkness, playing a character he’s been methodically preparing, for 7 years, that’s right, a crazy guy.
John Travolta is helping out in Haiti, using one of his planes to transfer supplies to victims, When asked how it feels to help so many in such a time of need, Travolta Says, “its electrifying” (I love Grease)
James Cameron’s “Avaitar” is still the number one movie in the country after 6 weeks, it is SAILING closer to SINKING Titanic’s money making Ship, Plenty of Pun intended.
Tony Galloway
Monday, January 25, 2010
News Nasty's 1/25
News Nasty’s 1/25/10
Barak Obamas first state of the union address is this Wednesday, Vice present Joe Biden says part of the speech with focus on “The sandwich generation” struggling families squeezed between sending their children to college and caring for elderly parents, my generation has already been called the generation that will destroy democracy, adding the sandwich generation that makes us the Acid Reflux generation
It was announce today that a Gremlins 3 movie was a go, but the kicker is, it’ll be in 3-D, Capitalizing on the success on movies recently switching to the 3rd dimension. I enjoyed the gremlins movies of the 80’s but the last thing I need is the slimly little creatures popping out in my face, if I want to watch slimly creatures pop out in my face I’ll watch the view.
Comedian Andy Dick over the weekend was busted with sexual misconduct at a show he was doing in West Virginia, Andy Dick was acquitted because the judge said to the 2 men assaulted, Why were you at an Andy Dick show in the first place.
Mel Gibson is coming to the aid of Golf star tiger woods’, saying he feels bad for Tiger and just wants to see him play golf again. Tiger responded, I feel bad for Mel Gibson, I just wish he’d stop being so crazy.
Quarter Back Bret Farve say that after the beating he took in the loss to the saints in the NFC championship, his return is un-likely. He says his decision will be based on whether or not his wife and daughter can tolerate him for a life time.
The cast of MTV’s hit reality show Jersey Shore is holding out on MTV for a second season, the cast says they want more money, and rightfully so the season finale brought it 4.8 million viewers, The last time that many people saw Italians fighting drinking and womanizing, was every single day.
Tony Galloway
Barak Obamas first state of the union address is this Wednesday, Vice present Joe Biden says part of the speech with focus on “The sandwich generation” struggling families squeezed between sending their children to college and caring for elderly parents, my generation has already been called the generation that will destroy democracy, adding the sandwich generation that makes us the Acid Reflux generation
It was announce today that a Gremlins 3 movie was a go, but the kicker is, it’ll be in 3-D, Capitalizing on the success on movies recently switching to the 3rd dimension. I enjoyed the gremlins movies of the 80’s but the last thing I need is the slimly little creatures popping out in my face, if I want to watch slimly creatures pop out in my face I’ll watch the view.
Comedian Andy Dick over the weekend was busted with sexual misconduct at a show he was doing in West Virginia, Andy Dick was acquitted because the judge said to the 2 men assaulted, Why were you at an Andy Dick show in the first place.
Mel Gibson is coming to the aid of Golf star tiger woods’, saying he feels bad for Tiger and just wants to see him play golf again. Tiger responded, I feel bad for Mel Gibson, I just wish he’d stop being so crazy.
Quarter Back Bret Farve say that after the beating he took in the loss to the saints in the NFC championship, his return is un-likely. He says his decision will be based on whether or not his wife and daughter can tolerate him for a life time.
The cast of MTV’s hit reality show Jersey Shore is holding out on MTV for a second season, the cast says they want more money, and rightfully so the season finale brought it 4.8 million viewers, The last time that many people saw Italians fighting drinking and womanizing, was every single day.
Tony Galloway
Friday, January 22, 2010
News Nasty's 1/22
News Nasty’s 1/22/10
A Georgia mother is in prison today after forcing her 12 year old son to kill his hamster with a hammer, due to bad grades. When hearing this NBC decided to murder Jay Leno, and Joey from friends for bad ratings.
Bristol Palin is complaining because Baby Daddy Levi is not forking over the dough he made last year, Levi has said he has made attempts to give checks and see his son but Bristol was a no show each time, In response to all this money mess, Tripp the child says “you know abortions don’t sound all that bad right now”
So Joaquin Phoenix has finally shaved off that nasty homeless Hip Hop beard and hair, apparently for a suicide prevention video with Miley Cyrus and Liv Tyler, Makes since to because seeing Johnny Cash look like beast man from Masters of the Universe made me in fact want to kill myself.
Tony Galloway
A Georgia mother is in prison today after forcing her 12 year old son to kill his hamster with a hammer, due to bad grades. When hearing this NBC decided to murder Jay Leno, and Joey from friends for bad ratings.
Bristol Palin is complaining because Baby Daddy Levi is not forking over the dough he made last year, Levi has said he has made attempts to give checks and see his son but Bristol was a no show each time, In response to all this money mess, Tripp the child says “you know abortions don’t sound all that bad right now”
So Joaquin Phoenix has finally shaved off that nasty homeless Hip Hop beard and hair, apparently for a suicide prevention video with Miley Cyrus and Liv Tyler, Makes since to because seeing Johnny Cash look like beast man from Masters of the Universe made me in fact want to kill myself.
Tony Galloway
Moron Report for 1/21
Moron Report
You know robbing homes can be an easy task, but just make sure before going through with it you groom your self and fill your belly, this moron comes to us from Easton PA,
EASTON, Pa. — An eastern Pennsylvania man was charged after he allegedly broke into a home, cut his hair and prepared fried chicken before being discovered. The man was charged with breaking into the home in Easton, about 50 miles north of Philadelphia. According to court documents, the homeowner returned home Sunday to discover him watching TV and cooking chicken. He also took a shower. Now I’ve been hungry before I know how this guy feels it can ruin your day, but unless he comes from a country where Fried chicken can be used as currency he probably could of skipped that part. And people might think he was a moron for sitting down and watching TV in the middle of a crime, but ask yourself something, have you ever became active after eating fried chicken, The answer no, I challenge you to fake breaking into your own home eating friend chicken and see if you finish the job, you won’t, you’ll be stuck on the couch watching jersey shore. With heartburn and grease stains on your shirt.
Tony Galloway
You know robbing homes can be an easy task, but just make sure before going through with it you groom your self and fill your belly, this moron comes to us from Easton PA,
EASTON, Pa. — An eastern Pennsylvania man was charged after he allegedly broke into a home, cut his hair and prepared fried chicken before being discovered. The man was charged with breaking into the home in Easton, about 50 miles north of Philadelphia. According to court documents, the homeowner returned home Sunday to discover him watching TV and cooking chicken. He also took a shower. Now I’ve been hungry before I know how this guy feels it can ruin your day, but unless he comes from a country where Fried chicken can be used as currency he probably could of skipped that part. And people might think he was a moron for sitting down and watching TV in the middle of a crime, but ask yourself something, have you ever became active after eating fried chicken, The answer no, I challenge you to fake breaking into your own home eating friend chicken and see if you finish the job, you won’t, you’ll be stuck on the couch watching jersey shore. With heartburn and grease stains on your shirt.
Tony Galloway
News Nastys for 1/21
News Nasty’s
Well the doctor treating Tiger woods for sex addiction says Tiger is the poster boy for Sex addicts, I beg to differ, I still believe sex addicts would rather have Megan Fox on there wall then Tiger Woods,
Conan o’brien and NBC have reached an agreement, Conan will receive 32.5 million dollars to leave the tonight show, his crew will receive 7.5 million, which brings up the question, how much Booze can you buy with 32.5 million dollars, or would 32.5 million be enough to OFF Jay Leno.
NASCAR is at the center of a heated race issue -- after a driver claims he was banned from a Drive for Diversity event for looking too damn white. The driver claims NASCAR officials labeled him "the poster boy for the Ku Klux Klan" ... even though he's part Puerto Rican. In other news Lebron James has been Banned from the NBA for being to damn good.
The National Monument Foundation today proposed a male counterpart of the Statue of Liberty to "wed" Lady Liberty with a complementary statue in the South. After hearing the proposal, all 4 heads on mount Rushmore, went on drinking binges and changed there status on face book from married to Divorced.
Former Baywatch star David Hasselhoff is heading back to TV following his departure from America's Got Talent - he will use this to help his teenage daughters launch a music career. His daughters will play themselves in this program, and “as themselves” I mean they’ll be playing talking cars that drive the Hoff around while he’s drunk and need a cheese burger.
Rosie O'Donnell wants to help aid efforts following the Haiti earthquake - by looking after orphaned children while rescuers search for survivors of the disaster. In response Haiti says we’ve suffered one natural earthquake no need for a man made one.
Well the doctor treating Tiger woods for sex addiction says Tiger is the poster boy for Sex addicts, I beg to differ, I still believe sex addicts would rather have Megan Fox on there wall then Tiger Woods,
Conan o’brien and NBC have reached an agreement, Conan will receive 32.5 million dollars to leave the tonight show, his crew will receive 7.5 million, which brings up the question, how much Booze can you buy with 32.5 million dollars, or would 32.5 million be enough to OFF Jay Leno.
NASCAR is at the center of a heated race issue -- after a driver claims he was banned from a Drive for Diversity event for looking too damn white. The driver claims NASCAR officials labeled him "the poster boy for the Ku Klux Klan" ... even though he's part Puerto Rican. In other news Lebron James has been Banned from the NBA for being to damn good.
The National Monument Foundation today proposed a male counterpart of the Statue of Liberty to "wed" Lady Liberty with a complementary statue in the South. After hearing the proposal, all 4 heads on mount Rushmore, went on drinking binges and changed there status on face book from married to Divorced.
Former Baywatch star David Hasselhoff is heading back to TV following his departure from America's Got Talent - he will use this to help his teenage daughters launch a music career. His daughters will play themselves in this program, and “as themselves” I mean they’ll be playing talking cars that drive the Hoff around while he’s drunk and need a cheese burger.
Rosie O'Donnell wants to help aid efforts following the Haiti earthquake - by looking after orphaned children while rescuers search for survivors of the disaster. In response Haiti says we’ve suffered one natural earthquake no need for a man made one.
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