The End By Alton Murphy

The End


Everybody saw this coming, what did the people expect. I can’t help but feel remorseful. Problems, Problems they can’t control, Problems that have no effect on their lives, they will be the first to die. Who knew? I did. The voters did too. But they were too busy listening to the hate, the option of one. Sure maybe “The one” had a valid reason to do what she did. But there is no reason to take millions of innocent people on this odium driven tirade. Democracy on papers sounds great, but there is a fine line between Democracy and a Dictatorship. How many times have you voted for a person not an issue? Probably every time. You vote for what somebody else wants, and you follow suit. If you really cared that much about your beliefs, you would vote for people the world has never heard of, from a political party you know nothing about. Sure you’re still free to vote for who you really want, and for the issues you feel are most imperative, but who’s to say they we’re essential in the first place. Not the people.
Its funny how when you facing devastation, you worry more about everybody else, and not yourself. Our free will power house is about to face The End, and I’m wasting my final minutes going on extensive political Jamba. I should be reminiscing on the regrets in my life, then find the glee in the otherwise grey life I’ve lead.
I regret choosing a career. It’s would have been nice to take the job route, wake up every day, same job same people, close to home, close to family, friends. But I took the career course. Every decision you make can make or break your entire life, no time for family or friends. New people every year, different setting every year as well, working and working to reach that elite status. Reaching it, but still never happy. I regret cheating on my wife. Wait….No, I don’t really regret that. I do regret getting married, but not the whole cheating thing. I never loved her, I loathed her. Then why get married? Who knows, if you’re married right now, don’t question it, and just go along with it. As soon as you question it that’s when tiny little impulses kick in. That sounds hard but trust me, if you want to remain happy never question marriage, it becomes quick sand as soon as you do.
Friends, I have friends, and I’m glad I did. Because if I didn’t, I’d be somebody’s lunch right now. More like an appetizer, I’m only a Buck 50.
Larry, my buddy Larry, my best friend since I became an adult. Adult friendships are the most important; I was never interested in keeping up with kids I went to school with. To talk to them I had to dumb myself up. I can’t do that, still can’t. I feel I’m smarter than everybody and I don’t mind letting them know that. But Larry is the exception. He dumb sure, Lazy, worthless 80% of the time, but he knows it, and accepts it. That’s hard to find. He makes it seem as if he knows something others don’t. I admire that. While he’s at home playing video games in sweat pants, drinking orange soda and eating god knows what, I’m working, fighting with my wife, drinking, smoking, and watching a giant assortment of porn. Why are me and Larry such good friends? Because he’s the only person I feel is smarter than me. Here I am taking life serious, slipping into a psychotic episode because my job is stressful, and Larry just leveled up on Pirate Wars.
He’s a good friend, the kind a guy a man needs when he faces an episode he doesn’t want to be a man about. Like a death in the family or what have you. I just wish there was more I could have done to stop what happened from happening. I did everything I could. I did everything I could. I did everything I could.
Allison Taylor, the avenger for a Munch free USA. Every bad event in the last year can be traced back to her. Mayor Allison Taylor, Beautiful, smart, interesting, the whole package as far as a woman goes. She just wasn’t book kind of smart. She was street smart. She knows how to read people and manipulate them, happened to me. As a member of the media it is my job to report accurate accounts of current events. But not with Allison. When word caught wind that she was using tax payer money to pay for a new hot tub, guess who the first to test out the waters was? My wife…. But me soon after.
Yes, the crazy love triangle that is my life. I love my wife, my wife loves Allison, Allison likes sex with me, and when my wife found out the sex I gave Allison was so good, all of a sudden she wanted it. So if you’re interested here’s how a twisted Sexcapade begins. Allison used her body for good press. She fucks me, I write a fluff piece about all the good she does in the community. My wife being the selfish person she is doesn’t want me to have something to myself, so she seduces Allison, and the rest is Damp history.
To me the word regret does not exist. If I make a decision it’s mine. The word regret is an excuse. Besides certain words that shouldn’t exist, some phrases should be eliminated. Like “do what’s best for you”. Talk about excuses. Those words are the biggest reason for quitting, because the majority of the time what’s best for you, is giving up.


Alton Murphy

What The Hell Is Sex Therapy?

Good question right? Of course it is. Unless you've died recently, you know Tiger Woods is a sex addict. He is being treated right now for this extremely dangerous disorder. Symptoms include Sex, Cigarettes, Pain in the jaw from smiling too much, and SEX. Now I know some people have the need to hide the pumpkin roll more than they should, or in places they shouldn't. But this isn't a normal person. This is a celeb issue. My question is when does the therapy end. Therapy and Rehab are like iphone App's, they do not END!!! "Oh you have a drinking problem, there's rehab for that, Oh you like to puff the meth every now and then, there's a rehab for that, Hmm you love sex, well there is in fact a Therapy/rehab for that. It's crazy. Sex therapy? So celebs can't be scummy anymore. I compare it to the columbine Kids, everyone was lining up to give them excuses. The parents, the music, the movies, the kids. I've said it my whole life, why can't people just be crazy, and why can't Tiger just be scummy. Some would say because of the sponsors. But you know damn well the ones that matter will always be there. In some cases if it's the right athlete, their worth more after a scandal. So the sponsors will be present. I'd love to see a scummy Tiger, punching children, dating porn stars, using the N-word. Take the Mike Tyson route, have Tiger stripes tattooed on his face.

So he cheats gets busted and he's a sex addicted? Maybe his wife is a crappy wife. Maybe she should go to crappy wife therapy, is there an app for that. I'm not going to let Tiger off that easy. In plain sight she seems like a good woman. But I'm saying for every celeb problem there has to be a Rehab now. Like the Real House Wife's of Orange County need to go to Ugly Old women bitch therapy. Spencer and Heidi = Douche Therapy. Charlie Sheen, Awesomeness therapy, and the list goes on.

What it all comes down to is Tiger was looked up to because he's great. He wasn't the goodie goody people are saying he use to be. He was a competitor, the best in the world. Now he's just another joke. He's TMZ's and Perez Hilton's wet dream. He's Darth Vader now, less man more machine. So what is Sex Therapy, It's a funny joke nobody got. But we all laughed anyway.

Uncensored????

For a blog that is called Tony Galloway Uncensored, Theres not enough Curse words. So I can make the name fit, here's some random BAD WORD's, for your reading pleasure.
FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, ASS, BALLS BALLS BALLS. There i've saved the integrity of this blog's name

Tony Galloway

Moron Report 3-02

Moron Report 3-02

You know, there is no age requirement for being a Moron. Morons except young and old. This story proves just that. This story comes to us from Pittsburg CA,
Police say a fifth grader brought special Fruity Pebbles treats to school on Monday: they contained marijuana.

That’s the only way you can put a sad face on a such a happy food.
Police say they were contacted after several fifth graders at Stoneman Elementary School shared nibbles of the sugary treat.

Theirs your first mistake, you name the school Stoneman. Now if the school was called Drug Free-man, then there would be no problem.

I wonder what this family puts in there Sugar SMACKS, I’d love to see if this child could screw up Cheerios

Tony Galloway

News Nasty's 3/02

News Nasty’s 3-02

Well O.J. Simpson has decided he’d like to summit the jacket he wore when he was acquitted on murder charges some years back to the Smithsonian Institution. The Smithsonian responded kindly saying What would we want with a Tan suit jacket, Oh yeah and You’re a Murderer.

The line up for the upcoming season of dancing with the stars is out, and Kate Gosselin has spot on the show, Kate Gosselin was the star of John and Kate plus 8, a sad piece of reality Television. She says I’m perfect for this show I’ve spent the last 2 years dancing around my 15 minutes of fan.

Tiger Woods has returned to his home in Orlando Fl. He has been seen exercising, and sure enough, playing Golf. It’s good to see those club used for him instead of against his head.

Moron Report 2/23

Moron Report 2-23

Some Morons have to be told twice, some things have to be learned the first time there told, like for example, a designated driver, pretty simple concept right, Wrong,.

(Austin Texas) A man was charged with endangering a child, a state jail felony, after police said he allowed his 14-year-old niece to drive drunk Friday night, the man as well, was wasted.

Ok first off if you’re an uncle, don’t hang around Nieces, never works. Second, start with driving drunk up and down the driveway that’s a good exercise. Then teach her to ride a bike drunk for balance. Then drive drunk on some side streets for experience, Then only then, will they be ready for Designated Drunk uncle driving. I should write a book. “uncle Anthony’s under aged drinking and under aged drunk designated driving for dummies.

Tony Galloway

News Nasty's 2-23

News Nasty’s 2-23

Brooke Muller, wife to actor Charlie Sheen has switched rehab facilities over concerns about her privacy, according to published reports. She’s moving from the Canyon Rehab center in California, to smokeys Tavern and Rehab center in Texas.

A federal appeals court will re-examine the FCC fine it threw out against CBS over Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction" during the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show. They say the video should be reviewed every 2 months or so,alone in a private place.

Actor Paul Reubens aka Pee – Wee Herman was pulled over last Friday for going 50 mph in a 35 mph zone. It should have been a short here’s your ticket and I’m off situation, But the word of the day was speeding, and when the cop would ask if he was drinking he would only respond with I know you are but what am I.

Sluggerrr the Lion -- the mascot for the Kansas City Royals -- is accused of poking a fan's eye out with a Hot Dog during a Major League Baseball game last year ... and now the team is being sued over it. The man suing Sluggerr says he was just chill’in at a game last year when Slugger "climbed atop the third base dugout and started shooting hotdogs into the stands from an air gun."Then apparently that got boring because he dropped the gun, and starting chucking the meat snack food into the crowd hitting the man in the Eye. After hearing this The Royals sent Sluggerr the Lion with a head thats half Baseball Half lion back to the Hot Dog throwing minors.

Sarah Palin will be a guest on the Tonight with Jay Leno when the show reboots a week from now; Palin’s not new to the Tonight show she came on once while Conan Obrien was still host. She’ll be joined by celebrities she doesn’t know; talking about nothing, on a station she didn’t know existed till 2007. Promoting god knows what, for no good reason.

And in Irony news Job hunting website Monster.com is cutting 200 jobs.

Tony Galloway

Tiger Wood's Dooms Day Clock 2-22

Tiger Woods Dooms Day Clock 2-22

world has a clock that was made to make people aware when a nuclear holocaust is near, The Dooms Day clock, But I think Tiger Woods is more important, So I bring you The Tiger Woods Dooms day clock. This clock determines how close we are to Tigers return to golf, midnight meaning, he backkkkk. Right now we’re sitting at 11:59 dangerously close to the return of TIGER. Well last week he met with the press, spreading apologies pretty thin and looking extremely old. Because of his own uncertainty of when he’d like to return I have to think it’s not going to be anytime soon, So good news Ian Poulter’s, you may have another chance to step up on the winner’s podium because I’m pushing the clock back 10 minutes, Yes PGA boys you all have an equal opportunity, For now, It’s 11 minutes till midnight.

Tony Galloway

News Nasty's 2/22

News Nasty’s 2-22

The first monogamous amphibian has been discovered living in the rainforest of South America.
Genetic tests have revealed that male and females of one species of Peruvian poison frog remain utterly faithful.
So next time ladies you’re having relationship issues, don’t turn to Oprah or Dr Phil, Go out by the rocks and ask a frog.

Natural progesterone, the sex hormone used in the first contraceptive pills, is to be tested on patients with severe head injuries. This just in Tiger Woods has the healthiest brain in the word.

Speaking of Tiger, he came out of the forest last week to speak to the media for the first time since the car accident that reveled several infidelity situations. He expressed apology to all his fans and friends, as well as his sponsors. Nikey accepted his apology, saying they support Tiger 100 percent. They also introduced their new Tiger woods’ cologne, Sex Tiger, 60% of the time it works every time.

The USA men’s hockey team did the impossible again, defeating the massive favorite Canada 5 to 3. The USA celebrated by getting free health care, eating pancake flavored beer while scream suck it Canada.

Residents of Tracy California are now forced to pay 300 for every call they make to 911. Governor Arnold Swartanegger made a statement saying, where the hell is Tracy CA. He went on to say if that’s the case, we’ll send choppers, and they need to get to them. They also need to fill out a complaint, tell the state who their daddy is, and what does he do.

The wife of wrestler Ric Flair was arrested last night for allegedly assaulting the nature boy. Cop were called when Neighbors heard the sounds of hands hitting hot chest flesh, and loud cries of Wooooo coming from the flair house hold.

Tony Galloway

News Nasty's 1/28

News Nasty’s 1/28


Actor and martial artist Jean Claude Van Damme gave up fighting in 1980, 30 years later he will step into the ring with Thai kick boxer Somluck Kamsing. Camera crews will follow his every move heading into this fight as well. He says you can expect a lot of Emotion, pain, black silk underwear, and a guaranteed win by flying round house kick.

Apple CEO Steve Jobs introduced a new product, the I-Pad. Which is a giant I-phone with no phone service? So they took a product, they already had, enlarged it and took away the main feature? The Demographic for this product was announced as well, People with big hands and no need for phone service, with 500 dollars to throw away.

Pro Wrestler Chris Jericho was arrested at a gas station in Kentucky yesterday (1-27), apparently extremely intoxicated, and riding in a cab. He was apprehended after choking out the cab driver, who he thought was the iron sheik.

Brooke Mueller wife of actor Charlie Sheen is in a Rehab center I’m told, recovering from pneumonia. When we asked the lawyer about it he said, “No not Pneumonia, Ammonia, she was out of whiskey.

The Answer is, John Edwards cheated on his wife who had cancer, had a baby with his Mistress, and got a divorce. The question, things you need on your resume to have a successful career in politics, we would have accepted also, DUI, and Gay bathroom affair.

Barack Obama had his first State of the Union speech since becoming president yesterday (1-27). Same ole sit and stand sit and stand service as usually, but the real focus is on Nancy Pelosi, for looking like every librarian ever, and Joe Biden looking like Sam the eagle from the Muppets.

Tony Galloway

News Nasty's 1/27

News Nasty’s 1/27


It’s now 6 minutes till midnight, according to the doomsday clock, the clock that determines when the world will be destroyed by nuclear war has been pushed back a minute. The Bulletin of Atomic Scientist say is was pushed back because of a more “hopeful state of world affairs” also Jay Leno going back to 11:35.

Apple has announced a new product, apparently its resembles a giant I-phone, in tablet form, That you may be able to read news papers and books digitally on, people are saying “it may not be the second coming but this is the most excitement a tablet has generated since Moses handed down the Ten Commandments, in celebration Steve Jobs CEO of apple has parted the red sea for the showing, And set George BUSH on fire.

TV star Adrian Pasdar from the hit NBC TV show hero’s was busted for a DUI, he was driving crazy at 90 miles an hour on a Los Angeles highway. The cops sensed his super powers from 20 feet away, Super Jack Daniels breathe, After NBC heard this they moved Jay Leno to when Hero’s is on and changed the title from Hero’s to People that look like the McDonalds character moon Mack, staring Jay Leno and Chuck Woolery.

General Larry Platt, the man who warmed Americas hearts with the song “Pants on the Ground” is under fire from The unknown Rap group The Green Brothers, for ripping off their song “Back Pockets on the Floor” Only God knows who will win in this Rap Battle of Originality. “In the Red Corner Act ‘in like a Fool “Pants on the Ground” and in the Blue Corner, 5 completely unknown Rappers from who cares “Back pockets on the Ground, There can only be one.

Well Susan Boyle’s home was broken into, Susan came home and saw a small boy leaving her residence. Nothing was taken. The British star said it could have been a small boy, or a Big English Leprecon. Her face got in the way.

Cuba Gooding JR showed up at an 80’s concert at the house of blues, apparently asking the crowd where all the white people were at. Little does he know, white people traded him for Wayne Brady a long time ago, and there still waiting for their money spent on RADIO.

Tony Galloway

News Nasty's 1/26

News Nasty’s 1/26



Well, apparently internet sensation and reality TV star Tila tequila is pregnant, In a press conference the father, SATAN said he is so excited that his son Hitler will finally have a sibling to love.

Aerosmith front man Steven Tyler treated a California Home depot to an impromptu concert over the loud speakers over the weekend, Tyler was there getting everyday low prices, on Face Lifts.

Gilbert Arenas pleaded guilty to possession of a deadly weapon when he brought a handgun in the wizards locker room, supposedly as a cruel joke, Wizard officials said “it’s sad to lose a dedicated player like Arena, Shooting Guard on the court, shooting Guard off the court”

Mel Gibson returns to the big screen after a 7 year hiatus, in the thriller Edge of darkness, playing a character he’s been methodically preparing, for 7 years, that’s right, a crazy guy.

John Travolta is helping out in Haiti, using one of his planes to transfer supplies to victims, When asked how it feels to help so many in such a time of need, Travolta Says, “its electrifying” (I love Grease)

James Cameron’s “Avaitar” is still the number one movie in the country after 6 weeks, it is SAILING closer to SINKING Titanic’s money making Ship, Plenty of Pun intended.

Tony Galloway

News Nasty's 1/25

News Nasty’s 1/25/10

Barak Obamas first state of the union address is this Wednesday, Vice present Joe Biden says part of the speech with focus on “The sandwich generation” struggling families squeezed between sending their children to college and caring for elderly parents, my generation has already been called the generation that will destroy democracy, adding the sandwich generation that makes us the Acid Reflux generation

It was announce today that a Gremlins 3 movie was a go, but the kicker is, it’ll be in 3-D, Capitalizing on the success on movies recently switching to the 3rd dimension. I enjoyed the gremlins movies of the 80’s but the last thing I need is the slimly little creatures popping out in my face, if I want to watch slimly creatures pop out in my face I’ll watch the view.

Comedian Andy Dick over the weekend was busted with sexual misconduct at a show he was doing in West Virginia, Andy Dick was acquitted because the judge said to the 2 men assaulted, Why were you at an Andy Dick show in the first place.

Mel Gibson is coming to the aid of Golf star tiger woods’, saying he feels bad for Tiger and just wants to see him play golf again. Tiger responded, I feel bad for Mel Gibson, I just wish he’d stop being so crazy.

Quarter Back Bret Farve say that after the beating he took in the loss to the saints in the NFC championship, his return is un-likely. He says his decision will be based on whether or not his wife and daughter can tolerate him for a life time.

The cast of MTV’s hit reality show Jersey Shore is holding out on MTV for a second season, the cast says they want more money, and rightfully so the season finale brought it 4.8 million viewers, The last time that many people saw Italians fighting drinking and womanizing, was every single day.

Tony Galloway

News Nasty's 1/22

News Nasty’s 1/22/10
A Georgia mother is in prison today after forcing her 12 year old son to kill his hamster with a hammer, due to bad grades. When hearing this NBC decided to murder Jay Leno, and Joey from friends for bad ratings.

Bristol Palin is complaining because Baby Daddy Levi is not forking over the dough he made last year, Levi has said he has made attempts to give checks and see his son but Bristol was a no show each time, In response to all this money mess, Tripp the child says “you know abortions don’t sound all that bad right now”

So Joaquin Phoenix has finally shaved off that nasty homeless Hip Hop beard and hair, apparently for a suicide prevention video with Miley Cyrus and Liv Tyler, Makes since to because seeing Johnny Cash look like beast man from Masters of the Universe made me in fact want to kill myself.

Tony Galloway

Moron Report for 1/21

Moron Report
You know robbing homes can be an easy task, but just make sure before going through with it you groom your self and fill your belly, this moron comes to us from Easton PA,

EASTON, Pa. — An eastern Pennsylvania man was charged after he allegedly broke into a home, cut his hair and prepared fried chicken before being discovered. The man was charged with breaking into the home in Easton, about 50 miles north of Philadelphia. According to court documents, the homeowner returned home Sunday to discover him watching TV and cooking chicken. He also took a shower. Now I’ve been hungry before I know how this guy feels it can ruin your day, but unless he comes from a country where Fried chicken can be used as currency he probably could of skipped that part. And people might think he was a moron for sitting down and watching TV in the middle of a crime, but ask yourself something, have you ever became active after eating fried chicken, The answer no, I challenge you to fake breaking into your own home eating friend chicken and see if you finish the job, you won’t, you’ll be stuck on the couch watching jersey shore. With heartburn and grease stains on your shirt.

Tony Galloway

News Nastys for 1/21

News Nasty’s
Well the doctor treating Tiger woods for sex addiction says Tiger is the poster boy for Sex addicts, I beg to differ, I still believe sex addicts would rather have Megan Fox on there wall then Tiger Woods,

Conan o’brien and NBC have reached an agreement, Conan will receive 32.5 million dollars to leave the tonight show, his crew will receive 7.5 million, which brings up the question, how much Booze can you buy with 32.5 million dollars, or would 32.5 million be enough to OFF Jay Leno.

NASCAR is at the center of a heated race issue -- after a driver claims he was banned from a Drive for Diversity event for looking too damn white. The driver claims NASCAR officials labeled him "the poster boy for the Ku Klux Klan" ... even though he's part Puerto Rican. In other news Lebron James has been Banned from the NBA for being to damn good.

The National Monument Foundation today proposed a male counterpart of the Statue of Liberty to "wed" Lady Liberty with a complementary statue in the South. After hearing the proposal, all 4 heads on mount Rushmore, went on drinking binges and changed there status on face book from married to Divorced.

Former Baywatch star David Hasselhoff is heading back to TV following his departure from America's Got Talent - he will use this to help his teenage daughters launch a music career. His daughters will play themselves in this program, and “as themselves” I mean they’ll be playing talking cars that drive the Hoff around while he’s drunk and need a cheese burger.

Rosie O'Donnell wants to help aid efforts following the Haiti earthquake - by looking after orphaned children while rescuers search for survivors of the disaster. In response Haiti says we’ve suffered one natural earthquake no need for a man made one.